Coming back to here
Sometimes the mind goes a long way off. Things feel foggy, unreal or far away, you go numb, or an old memory feels as if it’s happening now. These steps bring you back to the room you’re in.
Signs you’ve drifted
- Feeling unreal, foggy or far away, or watching yourself from outside
- Numbness, or “checking out”
- Distressing memories or images
- Rising panic, or a sense of being flooded
Coming back
- Open your eyes, and let them move. Look slowly around. Turn your head. Let your gaze land on things and rest there for a moment.
- Say where you are, out loud or to yourself: the place, the day, the time of year. “I’m in my kitchen. It’s Thursday. It’s spring.”
- Use your senses. Find a few things you can see, then a few you can hear, then a few you can touch. If counting or naming winds you up, skip it, and just look and listen.
- Press your feet into the floor. Feel the chair holding you, and your hands resting on something solid.
- Let the out-breath be slower than the in-breath, but only if breathing helps.
- Change something. Stand up, stretch, have a glass of water, open a window, or go into another room.
Grounding is not failure. Coming back is the skill we’re building.
What helps some people
- A familiar object or photo to look at
- A strong mint, or a strong, pleasant smell: hand cream, coffee, a sprig of rosemary
- Something with texture to hold
- A familiar piece of music
- Talking with someone, even about something ordinary
Afterwards
Go gently for a while: a warm drink, something ordinary to do. If this happens often, bring it to your next session, with what was happening and what helped you come back. That’s useful for us to know.
My reminder
When I feel far away, I’ll
Robert Ford · Registered Psychotherapist · Padma Psychotherapy